A person has been helping their elderly parents for a year. Their mother has a problem with hoarding and spending money. The father is not well and can't help. The person and their family have sold the house and paid off debts. Now, the parents live in a small rental with no yard work. The person feels bad about their mother. She says they took her things and money. But it's not true. The money is safe because she can't manage it well. The mother also criticizes how they did everything. The person doesn't like being around her. They are in therapy. They know they can't change their mother. But they still feel angry and hurt.

The person is trying to figure out how to move on. A therapist can help them sort out their feelings. They can also help set rules with the mother. Rules won't stop her from making remarks. But they can help the person know what to do and say. They can also help them stay away from situations that hurt their feelings.

The mother's problems might come from past trauma. She is also sad about losing her things. The person can't take that pain away. But they can help her find ways to deal with it. If she is open to it, therapy could help her. They can also talk to a financial advisor. This can help keep her money safe. It can also make her feel more in control. And it can make the person feel less responsible.


    # **Caring for Elderly Parents: A Complex Journey**

    ## **The Situation**
    - **Duration**: 1 year of dedicated care
    - **Parents' Conditions**:
      - **Mother**: Struggles with hoarding and financial management
      - **Father**: Unwell and unable to assist
    - **Current Living Arrangement**: Small rental (no yard work)
    - **Financial Status**: House sold, debts paid off

    ## **Emotional Struggles**
    - **Mother's Accusations**:
      - Claims her things and money were taken
      - Criticizes the person's actions
    - **Person's Feelings**:
      - Guilt, anger, and hurt
      - Avoids being around her mother
      - Engaged in therapy to cope

    ## **Path to Resolution**
    - **Therapy**:
      - Helps sort out emotions
      - Establishes boundaries and rules
      - Avoids hurtful situations
    - **Mother's Potential Needs**:
      - Past trauma and grief over lost possessions
      - Open to therapy for coping mechanisms
      - Financial advisor for money management

    ## **Outcome**
    - **For the Person**:
      - Reduced sense of responsibility
      - Better emotional control
    - **For the Mother**:
      - Potential for improved financial and emotional well-being

    

Caring for a Parent with Hoarding and Debt Issues

The Situation

Emotional Struggles

Path to Resolution

Outcome

Actions